Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
