Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
