I just saw a hot homeless man
Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
She made me pour olive oil on her.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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