roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
