Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
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