How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
