Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
