Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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