One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
