im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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