Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize