HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
