im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Randomize
