My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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