I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
