we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
