i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
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