Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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