Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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