why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize