if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
