I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
even my farts smell like vagina
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
