God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
