I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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