plz talk dirty to me
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
