Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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