I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
