Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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