He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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