In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
