Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
