My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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