Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
