I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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