You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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