i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Randomize
