dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize
