She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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