note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
