Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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