Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
