They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
