he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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