he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
