and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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