U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Randomize
