you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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