I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
