How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
