I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
