you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
