I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
