I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize