FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
