I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
my liver is dry heaving