I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
20 People Who Caught Their Significant Others Cheating and Hand Over Some Major Karma
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
33 Memes You’ll Find Uncomfortably Relatable If You’ve Ever Been Through A Messy Breakup
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.