Texts From Last Night

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  (631): View more from New York

  k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.

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  (631): k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not. http://tfl.nu/ari1
  Replies (15) Good night (974) Bad night (7662)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.

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  (732): some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america. http://tfl.nu/u0og
  Replies (33) Good night (825) Bad night (5039)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent

  (770): View more from Georgia

  don't you ever do that...

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  (404): i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent (770): don't you ever do that... http://tfl.nu/61yw
  Replies (29) Good night (4621) Bad night (1051)
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  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  this is something i pride myself on being below average for

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  (920): this is something i pride myself on being below average for http://tfl.nu/tsy8
  Replies (7) Good night (2603) Bad night (1353)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.

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  (630): I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job. http://tfl.nu/iztl
  Replies (7) Good night (4123) Bad night (1029)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.

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  (734): I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door. http://tfl.nu/gl6z
  Replies (7) Good night (2833) Bad night (803)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.

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  (651): I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober. http://tfl.nu/gztw
  Replies (5) Good night (1531) Bad night (904)
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  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking

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  (787): Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking http://tfl.nu/wzvh
  Replies (3) Good night (1091) Bad night (653)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.

  (406): View more from Montana

  YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.

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  (570): HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS. (406): YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE. http://tfl.nu/futb
  Replies (2) Good night (821) Bad night (342)
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  (805): View more from California

  Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...

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  (805): Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands... http://tfl.nu/zbxi
  Replies (4) Good night (712) Bad night (380)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.

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  (360): After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today. http://tfl.nu/8j26
  Replies (1) Good night (970) Bad night (351)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.

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  (+44): Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor. http://tfl.nu/tgic
  Replies (1) Good night (401) Bad night (580)
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  (805): View more from California

  I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water

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  (805): I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water http://tfl.nu/4hod
  Replies (3) Good night (1227) Bad night (410)
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  (315): View more from New York

  Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots

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  (315): Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots http://tfl.nu/kedr
  Replies (0) Good night (323) Bad night (121)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza

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  (336): I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza http://tfl.nu/mjsc
  Replies (0) Good night (390) Bad night (114)

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