This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had