Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.