I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
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There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.