So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.