Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

with your own penis?

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(248): with your own penis? http://tfl.nu/apjm

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(847): View more from Illinois

You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear

(1-847): View more from Illinois

Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat

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(847): You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear (1-847): Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat http://tfl.nu/fogp

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(847): View more from Illinois

Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state

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(847): Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state http://tfl.nu/3q3r

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(954): View more from Florida

i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour

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(954): i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour http://tfl.nu/3p9u

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.

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(732): I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents. http://tfl.nu/w4fz

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.

(704): View more from North Carolina

oh, you finally did the dishes then?

(980): View more from North Carolina

No, bought new ones.

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(980): I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight. (704): oh, you finally did the dishes then? (980): No, bought new ones. http://tfl.nu/21up

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(707): View more from California

I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.

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(707): I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her. http://tfl.nu/kq4i

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(216): View more from Ohio

As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.

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(216): As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks. http://tfl.nu/d4mm

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(574): View more from Indiana

So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore

(209): View more from California

You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?

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(574): So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore (209): You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect? http://tfl.nu/4y0y

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.

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(717): You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/k5p0

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(347): View more from New York

I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?

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(347): I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank? http://tfl.nu/v6b9

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?

(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...

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(902): Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask? (902): It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet... http://tfl.nu/mgzk

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(805): View more from California

I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life

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(805): I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life http://tfl.nu/x15r

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(440): View more from Ohio

Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.

(1-440): View more from Ohio

That's better than I've done so far.

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(440): Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today. (1-440): That's better than I've done so far. http://tfl.nu/4hrm

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(714): View more from California

I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!

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(714): I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!! http://tfl.nu/1fo4

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