What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Randomize
