Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(505): View more from New Mexico

He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.

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(505): He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis. http://tfl.nu/qfyr

Replies (37) Good night (4323) Bad night (652)
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(360): View more from Washington

his personality makes his face look like an asshole.

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(360): his personality makes his face look like an asshole. http://tfl.nu/0gwl

Replies (14) Good night (897) Bad night (3183)
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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.

(1-717): View more from Pennsylvania

Haha how do you remember that?

(717): View more from Pennsylvania

HOW COULD I FORGET?!

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(717): Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later. (1-717): Haha how do you remember that? (717): HOW COULD I FORGET?! http://tfl.nu/ylr0

Replies (39) Good night (5612) Bad night (901)
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(845): View more from New York

People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk

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(845): People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk http://tfl.nu/qmhf

Replies (4) Good night (5741) Bad night (570)
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(713): View more from Texas

We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.

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(713): We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10. http://tfl.nu/4t0m

Replies (16) Good night (5814) Bad night (898)
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(406): View more from Montana

Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.

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(406): Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana. http://tfl.nu/lih3

Replies (23) Good night (2007) Bad night (3186)
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(305): View more from Florida

Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?

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(305): Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can? http://tfl.nu/kckv

Replies (2) Good night (1508) Bad night (654)
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(616): View more from Michigan

She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross

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(616): She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross http://tfl.nu/ueo2

Replies (18) Good night (1050) Bad night (2945)
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(631): View more from New York

His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets

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(631): His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets http://tfl.nu/4eyt

Replies (13) Good night (503) Bad night (1997)
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(785): View more from Kansas

My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real

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(785): My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real http://tfl.nu/x4mj

Replies (3) Good night (2283) Bad night (439)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.

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(403): I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover. http://tfl.nu/0ddb

Replies (2) Good night (511) Bad night (296)
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(801): View more from Utah

The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.

(801): View more from Utah

The girl neighbor.

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(801): The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis. (801): The girl neighbor. http://tfl.nu/zc5m

Replies (1) Good night (604) Bad night (326)
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(206): View more from Washington

If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?

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(206): If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on? http://tfl.nu/dsww

Replies (1) Good night (336) Bad night (535)
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(850): View more from Florida

I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?

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(850): I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...? http://tfl.nu/1yog

Replies (3) Good night (657) Bad night (315)
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(770): View more from Georgia

I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.

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(770): I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups. http://tfl.nu/x4cx

Replies (1) Good night (335) Bad night (575)

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