No stitches, just platelets and will power
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
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