Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Pants are for mortals
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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