I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
