she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Randomize
