meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
