I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
