...so i touched it.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
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Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
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I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
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