Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
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At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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